Whoever created the pack and play was not- has never been- and probably will NEVER have children. Triple negatives might be grammatically incorrect but it is so SO appropriate this morning.
Why is parenting so hard? I mean, all I needed was to be able to pop open the pack and play for the sleepy toddler that I watch during the week but it obviously is not that simple. There are instructions, "pull here". No where on the damn thing does it say, must unlock bottom before securing sides. After several failed attempts, I flocked to the internet for advice.
YouTube: How to assemble pack and play.
Hell, I even found the same EXACT pack and play with the same damn zoo animals (that are secretly mocking me at this point..)
Naturally, the video would start by showing me how to disassemble the son of a bitch. Hello? Why would we start the video with disassembling if we don't even know how to assemble!?!?
Five minutes into the video- toddler still actively drifting into a nice, promising, early morning slumber.. finally, this Home Improvement looking dude is about to show me- THE MOM OF TWELVE- how to open my pack and play.
Got it. Unlock the bottom, to snap the side pieces.
Five minutes later, pack and play is STILL not fastened.
Re-watch YouTube video.
Contemplate this motherhood bullshit.
Question humanity.
Try again...
Got it.
Just in time for the toddler to wake up..
Current situation: PJ Mask, 2nd sippy of milk and three iced cookies later... chance of toddler napping? Not a chance.
This is so parenthood.
P.A.R.E.N.T.H.O.O.D
As soon as we think we figured it out, we forget something.
Something we did last year or for the last kid, magically no longer works.
If parenthood did come with instructions, they would be just a vague as the pack and play instructions.
"Feed child."
Feed child what? Breast milk? Formula? Which formula? Start baby food now? Or lead weaning? What if they don't like peas? Oh, shit. Did I give them fruit first? Did I ruin their taste buds for, forever? Why doesn't my toddler eat meat? Is this the second or third time this week I've served pizza? How do I get my kid to drink water?
Often times we turn to google, forums, social media, you name it for advice or validation of our "loosing my mind" mental status. Sometimes we get what we are looking for.. sometimes we don't.
Sometimes we watch someone open the pack and play and we STILL can't do it. No one feels like a failure like a mother.. on a DAILY basis.
Am I doing it right?
Am I doing it right like Susan?
Wait, is Susan doing it right?
Shit, what is right?
Parenthood is hard.
Putting together a pack and play is hard.
Thank God for forgiving children and late afternoon naps.
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