1. If we screw it up, we always have tomorrow. 2. Doing something is always better than doing nothing. 3. They may hate us now, but they will love us in their 20’s.
My number one rule that I live by- 1. Love them fiercely.. through ALL the good, bad and ugly.
But NO where.. NO where does it say to be friends with your kids.
I am my children’s parent. As a parent, it is mt job to provide encouragement, support, and access to activities that enable the children to master key developmental task and develop independence.
No where does it say we are suppose to be friends.
I want my child to always feel comfortable talking to me and I, more importantly, I want them to know how much I adore and believe in them. I want to encourage them and set expectations for them. I want them to know I am always there to fall back on, but I want them to have a strict understanding of success and what it takes to be successful.
I can do all of these things without having a peer relationship with them. Our children loose a certain level of respect for us when they begin to see us as peers and not as someone who holds power.
Children and teens crave boundaries, rules and limits. I promise. Kids will push boundaries just to challenge you on whether or not you hold the overall power.
We are adults, y’all. Judging by the amount of ibuprofen we take as we creep out of bed just signifies that we are GROWN adults.
Our role as parents is really to teach, coach and give our kids consequences when they misbehave. If you slip into that friend role, however, it’s virtually impossible to lay down the law and set limits on your child’s inappropriate behavior.
Logan had a rough patch during his spring semester of seventh grade. Vaping, skipping class, and talking back was just the beginning. He found himself wrapped up with the wrong group of friends and was making bad choices. Getting caught with the vape was the straw that broke this mommas back. You know what I did?
I did just what he asked for. You want to be grown? You want to act grown? Okay. I got you, son.
Withdrew from public school. You can handle online classes just like a college student. Adults need a job to pay their bills. Rent- $125 a month for your room and boardFood- $50 a week Power/Water/Cable/WiFi- $100Cell Phone- $50 (plus $25 a month for “leasing” the phone that’s on my account) Total- $100 a week, $250 every other four weeks. Wanna go out? Gonna need money for that. Need a job? I got you. I’ll hire you for $5 an hour as a maid/handy man.
It took him one semester, yall.One. Semester.
I reminded him the entire time that I love him NO matter how big he might screw up, but I was NOT going to give into his games.
People say “it’s an attention thing” and that he was “attention seeking”. Well, guess what? He got it. We spent every hour together (and the best part was I was hormonal and pregnant). Grocery stores, post office, school meetings, doctors appointments. Him and me. Me and him. Lots and lots and lots of time together.. But the day I decided to treat my child as an adult to match his adult actions is the day my child decided being a child was much, much easier.
Logan started high school in public school last year as an incoming freshman. He has made A’s and B’s and is very active in JROTC. I’ve gotten compliments over and over again for how respectful and punctuate he is.
I am so proud of my son... not my friend, but my son.
Oh, and for anyone keeping score.. I am on day 14 of the diet. Twelve pounds gone. Bazillion more to go 🙄
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